Feeling Dand-e

I recently attended "Revere: Night of Worship & Prayer" at church.  I was thankful to be needed to serve at it because then I couldn't have an excuse to miss it.  You see, I knew I needed it -desperately.  I had become discouraged by the destruction of a years-long dream that I had believed to be from The Lord for my life.  We are to wait with hope and expectation for the plans the Lord has for us, but lately, my hope has felt shattered.  In my discouragement, I had quit going to God as my source of sustenance.  I was literally starving for a Word from God.  I knew I needed to be at that event.  So while my heart may not have been "feeling it," I was determined to choose not just to attend, but to participate -to worship and pray -regardless of my "feelings."  

Every single worship song seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks.  Some moments, I could not even sing along, but just listen to the music and words blessing the Name of the Lord -speaking of His Faithfulness and Love.  This was just what my soul was longing for even though I didn't want to admit it.  

Then Pastor Keith facilitated a time of prayer and listening.  He gave us several scripture passages and a short tutorial on the "Four Keys to Hearing God's Voice" (based on the book & teachings of Dr. Mark Virkler).  We were instructed to: be still & quiet our hearts; envision Jesus; allow spontaneous flow of thought; and, lastly, write down the visions or words the Lord had for each of us.  Before we started this time of "hearing," we were given two questions to ask God in prayer: 

1. What are You saying to me; and 

2. What are You saying to our church? 

The time of prayer started and I just buried my face in my hands.  "Just relax, breathe, and let God speak to you," I told myself.  Then I said to God, "I don't even know what to pray.  Please, just give me a word.  Please, anything, God!"  It was an earnest plea -and He honored it.  

First I heard two words quietly, but clearly in my heart: "Stay Here."  "Was that You, God?" I asked Him.  I was so surprised at the idea that He might actually speak to me after my silence towards Him for the past several months.  During those same several months, I had been contemplating the idea of a significant move.  I was not even thinking of that in the moment, but the words came again: Stay Here. ..... Stay here.

Then the picture came - it was a dandelion "puff."

The dandelion's roots stay in the soil,

but the seeds scatter with the wind.

This is what I took from that moment:

1. God will use me to impact others, even those far away, as long as I stay rooted in Him.

2. It is not lost on me that the dandelion is technically a "weed." I am asking God to reveal to me more of the things in my life that are stealing the soil from the good things He is growing in me.  

3. In my obedience (staying here), I will grow and gain the freedom Christ offers me.

4. By allowing the winds of His Holy Spirit to refresh me & pass through me, His love will be spread far & wide.

My heart was feeling some peace, so I "braved" the other question: "God, what are you saying to our church?"  

The last answer came swift and was followed by a scripture brought to mind.  The words were: "Draw nearer to me."  And the scripture is Habakkuk 2:3 ... as I memorized it several years ago from a student study Bible:

Slowly, steadily, surely, 

the time is coming when the vision will be fulfilled.  

If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely happen.  

It will not be delayed. 

Or the New Living Translation:

This vision is for a future time.

It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.

If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place.

It will not be delayed.

 Habakkuk 2:3 NLT

Thank You, Lord, for speaking to me even when I, foolishly, had been silent with You.  Thank You for this reminder that even when we are discouraged by transitions and long-sufferings, You DO have a plan for me, for us, for the church... and it WILL be exactly "on time" ... not a moment too soon, and not a moment too late!