Vacation's All I Ever Wanted...

<-- This is me on vacation two weeks ago (aren't my pink toes so cute?!). I have more pictures in the post below this. This is what I love to do on vacation ... relax in a hammock under palm trees with branches swaying in the breezes ... listen to the sounds of the ocean's ebb and flow ... admire hundreds of different shades of bright, calming blues ... smell the salty, fresh sea ... feel the cool, white sand under my feet ... taste a refreshing virgin banana daiquiri ... and so on ... Well, God is good, and that's just what I got to do on part of my vacation this year!

My dear friend since middle school and her husband blessed me with a 5 night cruise to Costa Maya and Cozumel, Mexico from Tampa, FL! It was so wonderful to be reunited with them after almost 10 years. Also, since the cruise left out of Florida, I book-ended my trip by spending several days before and after with my family! I had not been home to visit since last September. I had a wonderful time with my family, despite Papa's (Grandpa's) recent decline in health. He was in good spirits and God really blessed our visit.

I have never cruised before, but I now understand why people talk so much about the delightful food and feeling so pampered! I had steak. I had Maine lobster tail. Frozen yogurt flowed like manna from Heaven (ok, perhaps a step too far :) They did have more desserts than a person should even know exist! As for pampering, our beds were not only made each morning, but "turned down" for the evening while we were having our evening meal. This may explain the pampering the best: My first restaurant meal back on dry land included me wondering for a moment why my napkin had not yet been laid across my lap for me!

There was a seemingly never-ending itinerary of activities each day. Oddly, I only went to one evening show. It was great fun, but I just wanted to go to bed close to my normal time each evening. I think I have grown to recognize the importance of not getting my sleeping completely out of whack when I go on vacation because if I do, then I don't feel rested/rejuvenated when I return home. So I relaxed every day. Horrible, I know.

Costa Maya was a relaxing day as we chose not to do any excursions. That is where I took my happy vacation feet picture above. We napped, swam, enjoyed a great lunch, and shopped right there by the port. The lunch was probably the most eventful experience that day. Our server was named Victor. When we first walked up to the seaside area, he approached us: Hola! I am Victor! You ready for lunch?

• Hola, Victor. Gracias, but not yet. We had a late breakfast. [side note: I loved the banana pancakes that were served in the dining room on the ship]
• Ok. You see lounge chairs, hammocks, tables, pool, beach? They all for you. This your house. Everything free to use. You see me when you ready to eat!

We relaxed for a while, then decided to have lunch after a couple of hours. We, of course, asked for Victor. You make Victor so happy! You come back to see me!

We had chicken quesadillas. We asked for virgin pina coladas [which were better than any other I'd ever tasted due to the real coconut milk in it.]

• Victor says: You do not need the ID to have drinks in Meh-heeco.
• Gracias, but we don't like to drink, we tell him.
• To which he quickly replies: De nada! Si, Victor loves the Jesus, too!
• Bueno! We do too!

Victor checks on us often and makes small conversation each time:

• You are married? ... No? ... I do not want to be in trouble with the husband, so I ask ... You have such big, beauteeful eyes! Your smile so big and bonita [pretty]. You live in Floreeda?
• We both used to, but no longer.
• Oh! If you live in Floreeda, then when I come see my family, my friends, I come cook for you, no? You will like. I cook such wonderful things for you! But you no live in Floreeda anymore. Sad for Victor.

And so on ... when we were ready to leave, he asked us to wait one moment (we had already paid and tipped him at this point). He came back with two more virgin pina coladas in "to go" cups! He said it was because we made his day so wonderful, so these were on him! What a fun experience!

The next day it was on to Cozumel. Here we got to have our excursion. I got to swim with a dolphin!! This was one of the best days of my life so far! Our dolphin was a Pacific bottle-nose name Amizcle [ah-meez-clay]. He was 20-22 years old, 14-15 feet long, approximately 680 pounds, and absolutely sweet! I think we were in the water with him for over an hour. We (there were about 10-12 in a group) would have "free time" where we would hang out in the water with Amizcle for 10-15 minutes of him just swimming around, letting us pet him. We had that kind of time three or four times in-between other activities. We each got a turn shaking "hands" and kissing with him. He was quick to vocalize that he did NOT care for kissing the man with the beard, lol! We learned the signals to send him off to jump, and to get up to 60 mph! The coolest experience was "surfing" on his under-belly by holding onto his pectoral fins as he quickly swam on his back! It was an amazing experience which I will not forget!

One more full day back at sea, and we returned to Florida. This time my sister was there to visit for the weekend, too! We had a wonderful reunion together, and with a couple of friends that we had not seen in several years. My uncle grilled for us on Sunday afternoon. We sat outdoors (it was unseasonably mild for Florida in April!) in the shade visiting with one another. 10 people (a few were missing), 5 dogs, and 2 horses all vying for one another's attention! Good times. Good times. My Daddy drives tractor-trailers and was unable to get home until Monday; but once he was home, we were really able to enjoy our time with him, too! It was hard to leave everyone come Tuesday morning (including Mom's new girl Ginger the Beagle - super cute!); but I guess if I got to live that way all of the time, it wouldn't be a vacation.

All in all, it was a wonderful and relaxing time. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to take such a great vacation. I came back rejuvenated, restored, and ready to go again!

Psalm 3:3-6 (MSG)

But you, God, shield me on all sides;

You ground my feet, you lift my head high;

With all my might I shout up to God,

His answers thunder from the holy mountain.

I stretch myself out. I sleep.

Then I'm up again—rested, tall and steady,

Fearless before the enemy mobs

Coming at me from all sides.

Vacay Pics

Cutest Little Lemon Beagle Ever!

"Ginger" or Gingy / Ginger Snap / Ginger-vitis (when she's naughty)

First glimpes of our Royal Caribbean ship Grandeur of the Seas

First full day on the Gulf of Mexico <sigh>

Kristen (10) and her new little friend in Costa Maya

Looking out from my hammock in Costa Maya

Robby (14) gives us his "gun show"

"Surfing" with Amizcle [Ah-meez-clay] in Cozumel

He's 14-15 feet long and about 680 lbs

Yes, these 2 are pictures of pictures on my monitor - long story

Amizcle gives me a kiss on the cheek

He's 20-22 yrs old - What can I say?!

Sunrise of the last full day at sea

Back on land with Bobby and Dell

Daria (friend), Melonie (sis), and Me

Somehow I missed getting a picture with my friend Stephanie

Aunt Tammy is modeling Uncle Jimmy's "Snuggie"

Papa (Grandpa) gets in on it, too.

He was either giving a blessing, or parting the seas ... we aren't sure :)

Wyatt hops on his horse, Jesse, to brush off some of his
winter coat without regard to direction. Jesse wasn't phased.

My Gramma is sooo cute!

Cortney, Papa, and Aunt Tammy

Wyatt (14) & Me

Tommy, you got a little somethin' right about ... there

Uncle Jimmy & Melonie ... NOT doing a beer commercial!

Daddy was showing us his newer cab that he drives

My Mama's pretty even at 10:30 at night without make-up!

Ginger wants on the bed with Mom because it's time to go to bed now.

Thanks for re-living some moments of vacation with me!

Good-night!

Confirmation

My Papa (Grandpa - pictured here with my cousin Randee in October of 2007) is 72 years young and an amazing man of God. He and my Grandma have led more people to the Lord than can be counted. They have such amazing faith in the Lord.

He and my Grandma got married when they were only 17 and have been together ever since. I have always had a very close relationship with my Papa & Grandma ... all of us grand-kids have. We stayed the night with them often growing up. We stayed at their house when we were out of school for the summer and our parents were at work. We stopped by to raid their fridge & pantry after school just because we could :) I have many great moments in my life that include my Papa & Grandma and their love.

While I was at home on vacation this month, it was difficult to see how much weight my Papa (Grandpa) had lost since I last was home at the end of September. It was difficult to “hold back” when hugging him because he was in pain when touched. It was difficult to leave and wonder if it was the last time that I would see him…

It is difficult to actually write now that what our family knew in our hearts was confirmed by the doctors on Friday… Papa (Grandpa) has spots of cancer in his bones over his entire body, even his toes. His primary care doctors were broken-hearted to tell Papa, Grandma, Mom, and Aunt Tammy this news as they have great compassion for their “buddy-friend, Tommy.” There was much information to process, and I just don’t have it in me to try to type out all of the details; but his doctors are giving him some sort of hormonal, chemo-injection that should minimalize the cancer’s growth to help deter further pain. If he responds well to that (we’ll know in two weeks), then he might have three to six months left to live. It is not a treatment to prolong his life, but rather to try to make what he has left more comfortable. He could have more, he could have less. Of course, only God truly knows. He has been given two medications for his pain. Hospice administration came to meet with them on Saturday and his assigned Hospice nurse is coming out to meet with them today.

At worship/prayer on Saturday evening, God led me to Philippians 3-4. One part that struck me was 4:6-8:

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I read over this several times, then, within two minutes, the worship leader read 4:8. That was beautiful confirmation from the Lord that this verse is for me where I'm at right now. I called my Grandma this morning and shared that with her. She began to weep (as did I) and tell me that Philippians 4:8 is her favorite scripture. She said that she has been lying awake sobbing in the night and telling God that she was so overwhelmed that she does not even know what to think or pray. We are both grateful to the Lord for His Word and that gentle reminder.

Please pray that:

• My Grandma (Jackie) will be able to let the Holy Spirit intercede on her behalf
• My Papa (Grandpa, Tommy) will not have pain
• The rest of my family will cling to God through this time
• The Lord would provide the resources and time for my sister and I both to be able to go back home to see Papa (Grandpa) several more times (even if just over weekends) before we have to go home for a funeral.

What I Have

I have had a Winter scene as my desktop background for quite a while, so I decided to change it to something that reflects Spring. I found this picture that I took at Tulip Time on the town square last year. I'm not a photographer, but I enjoy attempting to capture God's beauty with my little camera. As you can see, I decided to add a scripture to it. I figure I could use the encouragement when I'm at work, staring at my monitors all day.

White flowers are said to symbolize forgiveness, hope, and peace. I am clinging to that today.

I just returned yesterday from a vacation to spend time with my family and some long-time friends. While home, I saw for the first time, a clearer picture of the extent of my Grandpa's (Papa's) deteriorating health. It was difficult to see him cringe in pain each time that he would get up, get down, or just change positions where he was seated. It was heart-wrenching to have to hold back from giving him a real hug because it hurt him to be touched. It was a tearful moment for my sister and I to watch Papa & Grandma drive away from our parents home the evening before we were both to fly back to our respective states ... not knowing when or if we may see them again.

And yet I have Hope. And yet I have Peace. Because of Forgiveness.

I am so thankful for all of the amazing memories that I have with my Papa. I am so thankful that while he couldn't be "squeezed," we could still give him kisses. I am thankful that he was still the Papa I know, making jokes and chuckling at the three-ring circus happening just outside of my aunt & uncle's backdoor with 10 people, 5 dogs, and 2 horses all trying to get attention from one another! I am thankful. Hopeful. Peaceful.

The doctors working with my Grandpa (Papa) for his cancer have not really given options for course of treatment yet. They know his cancer has spread some; but they aren't sure how to treat it because what they had been doing is no longer working, and he is not eligible for the "plan B" that they wanted to try next. Now with the pain he is experiencing in his bones and/or joints, they are running more tests to see if it is in his bones. I think many of us in our family have thought about that possibility, but no one was brave enough to say it.

And yet I have Hope. And yet I have Peace. Because of Forgiveness.

My Hope is in You, LORD. I have Peace because of You, LORD. Because of Your Love for me, LORD, You Forgive me of my sins which You have so Graciously and Mercifully covered with Your Blood ... Because of that, I can come to You. I am Yours and You are mine. Because I have You, I have Hope and I have Peace. You are Good and You are Compassionate. You do not abandon me, LORD, for I am the work of Your Hands. I am the Love of Your Heart. I can have Hope and I can have Peace about Papa because I know You will heal him, whether on Earth or in Heaven, You will heal him. I bless Your name, LORD, because You are Faithful and You are True!

I didn't plan on inserting a prayer mid-blog, but there it is. I praise God that He led my thoughts and my fingers to Him! So I think I'll just end with a Word from Him:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~ Romans 15:13

I have Hope. I have Peace. I have Forgiveness. I have Jesus!

Cruisin' ... on a Monday Afternoon

"... I was facing death, and He saved me. Let my soul be at rest again,

for the Lord has been good to me. He has saved me from death ..."

~ Psalm 116: 6b-8a ~

My body is nowhere near being at rest right now. I just want to soak up every minute with my family while I'm on vacation, so I have kept rather busy during this first part of my vacation. Tomorrow, I leave on a cruise across the Caribbean. I am excited as it is my first cruise, and it was a gift from a dear, long-time friend whom I'm extremely excited to see tomorrow! As much as I look forward to the cruise and catching up in person with my friend, I am really anticipating having some time for rest.

As busy as I have been leading up to my vacation and as busy as I have been in the first few days of my vacation, I feel that I have not truly allowed my heart/soul/mind to be at rest. Perhaps this is just what I need. After all, HE has saved me from death! So why should I allow any other thought or responsibility take me out of a state of rest for my soul?

Somewhat Easter thoughts

He personally carried our sins in His body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By His wounds you are healed.

~ I Peter 2:24 (NLT)

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I saw my Papa (Grandpa) yesterday. "Don't hug me too hard, baby," he joked, "I'm only half the man I used to be and I might break." I giggled like I always do when my Papa jokes with me, but there was sadness in my heart. This was the first time I've seen Papa and the rest of the family since last September. This was my first time to see my Papa since he has started to walk with a cane because of his knee. This was the first time I saw him look physically small. This was the first time that I have seen him since he has dropped 90 lbs. quite rapidly over the past several months because of cancer. This was the first time I saw him in obvious physical pain. This was the first time he hasn't called me "O'Rain" within the first 24 hours of seeing him. This is the first time that I am honestly wondering if this is the last time ...

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While that stirs a sorrow in my heart, I'm somehow to rejoice tomorrow that Jesus arose from the grave. I know that when I hear the songs, I will choose to engage in worship with my Saviour. I know that in my head, but I'm wondering how my heart will take it. How will my soul feel about that? How do people rejoice when they are hurting? I don't really know the "right" answer to that, but I do know how I have experienced joy in the midst of sorrow ... by choice.

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God gives us free will. He lets us choose. He "personally carried our sins in His body," yet He does not call us slaves despite the fact that He bought us with His blood. He calls us friends. He calls us sons and daughters. So while He gave everything for us, we still can choose to turn away. So since it is all about choice, then maybe we just have to choose to step into rejoicing even when our hearts are heavy. I'm not saying it's easy (I know better!), but I am saying it's possible. One of my most intimate moments with God was in an extremely low and dark day in my life ... I turned on worship music, fell face down, and just sobbed (If you'd like to know the level of sobbing, check out Psalm 6). After lamenting to God and laying it at His feet; I began singing praises in my slobbery, snotty, broken state. Did my circumstances go away? Nope. Did my situation change immediately? Nope. Did I still connect with God? Absolutely. Did I experience some joy, peace, restoration, and healing? Without a doubt!

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It is a daily choice to have intimate moments with God. He's there ... we have to choose to let Him in our lives. We have to choose to worship when we don't feel like it. We have to choose to let Him be God. We have to choose to allow Him to fill us with His peace and joy. It seems like a lot of decisions, but they're really not so bad when we consider that He chose to love us faithfully. He chose to love us regardless of how we love Him back. He chose to die so that we might live. I like that it says "might" ... kind of seems like we have to make that choice then...

A Rock Concert for Me

God's glory is on tour in the skies; God-craft on exhibit across the horizon.

Psalm 19:1 (The Message)

I am so excited to go home tomorrow to Florida to spend time with my family! I have also been blessed by a dear long-time friend with the gift of a Caribbean cruise (my first!) with her & her family in the middle of my vacation!

People keep asking me if I'm excited to go on vacation ... duh! Seriously, although I am very excited, there is much that is stressful about preparing to be gone for 12 days. I have been busy tying up loose ends at work ... you know, so things don't fall apart while I'm gone ;) I have been busy doing laundry. I have been busy shopping for things that I'll need for the trip. I have been busy with friends. I have been busy at church. I have been busy.

Today, someone who has cruised before told me that I was going to love being pampered and letting go of my cares. Oh, how I long for that moment! For the time being, however, I have remained physically, mentally, and spiritually preoccupied.

I looked up a devotional online while eating my lunch just now. The above verse was part of it. It caught my attention, so I looked it up on http://www.biblegateway.com/ and read it several times in several different versions. I like that this version says God's glory is "on tour" across the skies. I wonder if God chooses to put His glory "on tour" so that it will get my attention. Still, I often seem to miss the concert. What is really sad is that I know that those concerts are made special by Him just for me ... right where I'm at when I need it. Alas, I am too busy. I don't hear the exciting, rockin' concert or see the amazing swirl of beauty in the exhibit. I miss the wondrous display that is beyond description. I don't catch that the Almighty God of the Universe was whispering a special poem of love directly into my heart.

A good friend sent me a link of cruise tips. The final tip was "don't forget God." I, by His design, often do enjoy the sights and sounds of God's natural creation (ask me about fireflies sometime!); but it was a good reminder. So I am going to make a conscience effort to take in as much as I can of God's glory on tour in the skies ... His craftsmanship on exhibit in the horizon while I am on vacation! May my heart grow even fonder of my LORD that I would do the same when I return!

Oops!

I am new to this whole blog thing and I kept receiving error messages when I was trying to save/post last Friday evening. I later found out that because I was not seeing it post and had to attempt it several times, some of you received quite a few emails notifying you of my post! Sorry about that and hope you'll take a the time to read it because it was an important evening for me.

To Be Tenderhearted Or Not. Two Stories, One Night.

I did not know last night at worship team practice if I needed to set up the stage or not for Palm Sunday. I would normally set it, however I wasn't sure if there would be a "special" setting or not, so I was hesitant to set up the stage and lights. I was unable to contact anyone, so I just decided to do it. The worship team leader (and church staff person) kindly told me later that it looked great, but not to work too hard on it in case it would get changed. I am told this after I have spent 90 minutes hauling fake palm trees around; raising banners by myself; pushing the gargantuan cross into just the right spot on stage; and my head is literally drenched with sweat! Oh, it might get changed? Well that just figures! All my work for naught. Grrr!

I sat down with the rest of the team for prayer. We discussed praises and prayer requests; but all the while I was pouting internally. "I love doing this, but if one more person complains about the lighting... If I come in on Sunday and it's all changed, I hope I don't cry out of frustration - that would be embarrassing. Oh, it's time to pray..." One of the musicians kindly prayed for me. He thanked God for my part in the worship ministry. He asked God to bless me on my "much-deserved, time away to rest" [I'm leaving on vacation next week] as others made little sounds of agreement. "Oh, they do appreciate me and recognize the contribution of time that I make to worship ministry ... oh, Jesus, please forgive my whining session. Thank You LORD for calling me to be a part of this team."

See, God's been growing a little more tenderheartedness in me over the past few years. For the most part, that's been a great thing. It's not always easy, but it's good. I need to continue to learn to be more sympathetic towards others. Unfortunately, for obvious reasons, the enemy likes to find ways to use our own good things from God against us. In this case, having a more tender (exposed/vulnerable) heart also meant that I was more sensitive to things of the world and allowed it to create a negative reaction in me.

Fast-forward 20 minutes or so... I am helping my friend (one of the other musicians on the team) take some equipment out to their vehicle. As we are walking out, a lady is trying to come into the building. I instinctively held the door open for her to enter. Then as I am conversing with my friend, I mention that I wonder why that lady was entering the already-locked church at 9:30 at night. My friend suddenly realizes that they have left one very important item in the church. We walk around trying to find an unlocked door. The lady sees us, opens a door, and heads towards the kitchen.

Me (muttering): I've never seen her before.
Friend: Do you think she goes to church here?
Me: I know it's a big church and we can't know everyone ... but it just seems odd that she wanted in this late.
Friend: There are two other cars in the [upper] parking lot, so I guess it's okay.
Me: Yeah, it probably is okay. It's God's house, so He'll deal with it if it's not.

I'm experiencing mixed feelings of suspicion and concern. It was completely a moment like the picture of the enemy on one shoulder and Jesus on the other shoulder. Of course I know to whom I should listen; but it's hard to hear clearly when I'm paying attention to the other's arguments as well.

As the evening gets colder we begin to wrap up our conversation. Our pastor comes out of the doors near us looking for his car. We speak a few moments. He leaves advising us to do the same since it's getting so cold. As we part ways, we note that it must be okay that the lady came in so late since the pastor was still there; and my friend notices that the lady has come back out of the church. I start walking towards my truck which was parked two spots away from a minivan. I notice the light on in the van, and sitting on the first bench-seat is that lady. "I wonder why she's sitting on the back seat... Is she going to sleep in there?"

Now my heart is truly tugging to the side of concern. I start my truck and find myself walking towards the van with no idea what I will say to her. I knock on the window closest to her. She fumbles to unlock it. The smell of smoke comes wafting out at me. I feel awkward, but I begin to speak.

Me: Um, hi. Can I help you with anything?
Her: Oh, no thank you. The pastor said it was okay if I sleep here tonight.

Internally, I'm shocked. "...in the van? You're going to sleep in the van?" I've never personally met someone in my own clean, nice, small town that has had to sleep in their vehicle. I give her a slight smile. She goes on to explain that she's meeting with someone at the church in the morning. To ask for financial assistance, I assumed. I continue conversation with her:

Me: Are you sure you're okay? Can I bring you some more blankets?
Her: Thank you, but I'm from the mountains. I've got plenty of blankets.
Me (only by God's nudging I'm sure): Oh! What area?
Her: Well, I grew up here, but I've been living near Beech Mtn in Boone, NC.
Me: Boone?! I grew up in Florida. Boone was the first place I saw mountains or snow! It's a beautiful area. Are you coming back to stay, then? Things are hard right now?
Her: Yeah. Hard is an understatement.

She has a sweet smile. She is sitting in a way that kind of hides part of her face in the darkness of her long, unkempt hair which had been pulled back when I first noticed her a short time earlier. Behind her glasses, I can see that, despite her hopeful voice, her eyes are heavy with sadness. She goes on to tell me that her aunt and uncle came to get her and her children to bring them back. I look around the van for any signs of sleeping children, but don't see any.

Me: I take it your children are sleeping somewhere safe and warm, then?
Her: Yeah, two are in Otley [a nearby town], one's with my aunt and uncle, and my four year old baby's with her daddy in Georgia.
Me: I can't imagine the difficulty of being apart from your kids, but it's good that they can be warm. (after a pause) Do you need anything to eat or drink?
Her: No, thank you. I've got some stuff for that, too.
Me: Okay. Well, can I just pray with you before I go?
Her: Oh, I would like that very much! Just pray for safety, please!

She sounds excited. I ask her name and give her mine before I pray. I ask if I may place my hand on her shoulder. She happily gives me her permission. I begin to ask the Holy Spirit how to pray for this lady. I do not even know all of her circumstances. I wonder if anyone has touched her lovingly in a while because I can feel her emotions physically heightening before I even pray aloud. I just pray for maybe four or five minutes, but they were good minutes. I feel my eyes welling up out of overflowing compassion towards this woman who was earlier a seemingly suspicious-looking stranger; but is now a real person with tough circumstances and in need ... of financial help? ... of shelter and protection? ... of compassion and love.

She was thankful for my conversation and prayer as I left. I was thankful that GOD nudged me to step out of my comfort zone. I was thankful that GOD filled me with more compassion to leave a message of love on her heart. I am thankful for how GOD blessed ME through HER.

You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts,

Known and read by everybody.

You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry,

Written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God,

Not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

~ II Corinthians 3:2-3 ~

Hey y'all!

I'm just starting out on this thing. I've got to go for tonight, but I wanted to put something here for you to read incase you're checking it out already!

Stay tuned for future thoughts! Scary, I know!