downs and ups

Read I Kings 17:8-24

"Then Elijah brought him down [the stairs] from the upper room and gave him to his mother. "Look!" he said. "Your son is alive!" - I Kings 17:23

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I'm not a fan of stairs. As my family and friends know, stairs and I are like oil and water. My first incident with stairs was tripping up the stairwell in the round building during my freshman year of high school. Somehow I've managed to do that several more times in my life. Then in 2008 I had a severe ear infection and, in my dizzy state, surfed down an entire flight of stairs face-first. Most recently, my knee popped out of joint while I was coming down the stairs and I went directly down on my tail-bone and sledded about four or five steps down. I'm still sore from that one.

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Thinking about my stairway incidents naturally transitioned to thoughts of the ups and downs of life. I've been blessed with plenty of "up" times on "user-friendly" staircases. There have also been some steep, downward-spiral staircases through the last few years due to the loss of two significant loves in my life: one because of death, the other a broken relationship. The person with whom relationship ended is not a bad person. In fact, it is mostly difficult because this is another Christ-follower with a kind heart. For various reasons, it seems we are just not to be in fellowship with one another here on earth.

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So my current "down" is that it has been difficult to successfully avoid this person in such a small town - although I've managed to be quite good at it. I'm not stating that avoidance is the right thing, but it is where I'm at in my heart. It is my way of giving space to both myself and this other person with the hope of easing the pain. The problem with easing the pain is that it doesn't always lead to true healing. It's like the bandage that I had to put over the rug-burns on my face after falling face-first down the stairs. It didn't take away the pain, it just covered them. When I exposed the wounds, it hurt even more, but the icky "goop" that I put on it while it was exposed is what actually led to healing.

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So over the past few weeks, it seems that the Lord is gently finding ways to not allow me to hide my wounds. I have crossed paths from a distance several times with this other child of God. It saddens me, I miss that special fellowship, and the wound seems to feel fresh all over again. The wound is deepest from the way that I have allowed the enemy to speak into it. Lies of being inadequate, unworthy, and unlovable.

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I had yet another distant passing a few days ago. This time was different. I had been singing praise songs all day and my heart & soul were filled with God's Truth. So this time, I recognized God's nearness and comfort to me at the bottom of that staircase. No sooner did my heart fall, than I heard the song "Beautiful" by Mercy Me come on the radio. It was in that moment that I remembered that God is near and uses the "downs" just as much as, if not more than, the "ups" for us to draw nearer to Him.

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Go back and read the scripture link above. I found it interesting that the sad moment led to "going up the stairs" and the rejoicing happened when Elijah came back "down" the stairs. A reminder for me that God's ways are not mine, but where I am, HE will meet me - up or down.

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Beautiful
From Mercy Me's Album "The Generous Mr. Lovewell"
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Days will come when you don't have the strength

And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see too much

Chorus
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight
'Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

Repeat Chorus

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
In His eyes

Repeat Chorus 2x