What I Have

I have had a Winter scene as my desktop background for quite a while, so I decided to change it to something that reflects Spring. I found this picture that I took at Tulip Time on the town square last year. I'm not a photographer, but I enjoy attempting to capture God's beauty with my little camera. As you can see, I decided to add a scripture to it. I figure I could use the encouragement when I'm at work, staring at my monitors all day.

White flowers are said to symbolize forgiveness, hope, and peace. I am clinging to that today.

I just returned yesterday from a vacation to spend time with my family and some long-time friends. While home, I saw for the first time, a clearer picture of the extent of my Grandpa's (Papa's) deteriorating health. It was difficult to see him cringe in pain each time that he would get up, get down, or just change positions where he was seated. It was heart-wrenching to have to hold back from giving him a real hug because it hurt him to be touched. It was a tearful moment for my sister and I to watch Papa & Grandma drive away from our parents home the evening before we were both to fly back to our respective states ... not knowing when or if we may see them again.

And yet I have Hope. And yet I have Peace. Because of Forgiveness.

I am so thankful for all of the amazing memories that I have with my Papa. I am so thankful that while he couldn't be "squeezed," we could still give him kisses. I am thankful that he was still the Papa I know, making jokes and chuckling at the three-ring circus happening just outside of my aunt & uncle's backdoor with 10 people, 5 dogs, and 2 horses all trying to get attention from one another! I am thankful. Hopeful. Peaceful.

The doctors working with my Grandpa (Papa) for his cancer have not really given options for course of treatment yet. They know his cancer has spread some; but they aren't sure how to treat it because what they had been doing is no longer working, and he is not eligible for the "plan B" that they wanted to try next. Now with the pain he is experiencing in his bones and/or joints, they are running more tests to see if it is in his bones. I think many of us in our family have thought about that possibility, but no one was brave enough to say it.

And yet I have Hope. And yet I have Peace. Because of Forgiveness.

My Hope is in You, LORD. I have Peace because of You, LORD. Because of Your Love for me, LORD, You Forgive me of my sins which You have so Graciously and Mercifully covered with Your Blood ... Because of that, I can come to You. I am Yours and You are mine. Because I have You, I have Hope and I have Peace. You are Good and You are Compassionate. You do not abandon me, LORD, for I am the work of Your Hands. I am the Love of Your Heart. I can have Hope and I can have Peace about Papa because I know You will heal him, whether on Earth or in Heaven, You will heal him. I bless Your name, LORD, because You are Faithful and You are True!

I didn't plan on inserting a prayer mid-blog, but there it is. I praise God that He led my thoughts and my fingers to Him! So I think I'll just end with a Word from Him:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~ Romans 15:13

I have Hope. I have Peace. I have Forgiveness. I have Jesus!